K1 journey (Jornada K1)

In the year of 2012 I had the worst birthday ever. I cried the whole night, maybe because of the two bottles of Brazilian type of sangria or because I was really lonely. However, just a couple days after this I met one of the most important persons in my life, Alan, my husband and the one who changed my life forever.

All the changes started when we met at a karate class in Brazil. I tried to talk with him, but I did not know that he was an exchange student, so I was a little embarrassed when he said in broken Portuguese that he could not understand me. Anyway, it was the perfect excuse to add him on Facebook. We started chatting there on a mix of Portuguese and English, and it worked. In less than a month we began to date. It was very intense. I even moved to his student apartment. After three months he had to go back to the U.S., and we could not stand the idea to be apart, so we decided to be together. With the result of that we learned about a k1 visa, the fiancé visa and all started to be complicated.

Basically, the fiancé visa is a painful waiting process. There are five steps to follow: pack and send documents, wait for the approval, be interviewed, pass through immigration, and get married. The most problematic part is the bureaucracy. Stamps and approvals require time and patience. It is not just your process there; it is the whole world waiting on a list. Some cases last three months and others two years, so when we started the process, I was panicking that mine was one of the worst cases possible and my anxiety went up to a whole new level.

The first one, packing, was easy. We just needed to prove our relationship with pictures, letters, and documents and send them to the U.S. government. We took advantage of our cyber relationship and sent them all our Facebook timeline, with the pictures, conversations, and events that we attended together. We also needed to send a letter explaining how we met. I never saw this letter, but I think Alan did a good job because in some cases people need to resend everything just because the government doesn’t believe in the story of the couple. At least everything was accepted really fast in our case.

The second one is the worst one, because waiting can be really cruel and wearing. At this moment I was apart from Alan at least ten months; the k1 process is expensive, so we waited to open the process until he had a good enough job. A long distance relationship creates a strong connection between partners, and we couldn’t wait to live that connection face-to-face. My emotions in that moment were completely shattered, and it looked like the wait was never ending. The distance really did not help. It is a crazy trial for a relationship. Regardless, four months, that looked like years, passed and we finally received the approval.

In Brazil, children don't move from parents’ homes as soon as they make 18 years old. As an example, my mom never moved and we lived in my grandma’s house until I got married. Brazilians are very family oriented people in general. As a result of that, when I traveled by myself to Rio de Janeiro for the next step, because of the interview and medical exams that were required, I was scared and a little lost. But also I was feeling independent and walking on my own for the first time in my life. I was freaking out, sweating, and also passing out a couple times inside the office because of stress. If I knew that everything was going to be fine, I would relax a little. I did not have the knowledge of any other case and did not have a way to know that the interview is just protocol and you basically are already approved in that step. However, when I was approved, I just couldn’t believe how easy the interview was.

In the next step, I was completely exhausted, my mental health was committed, and I had to stop my classes at college, because of the pressure and stress. The k1 visa makes you get married in 90 days after you enter in the U.S., so while I was in Brazil I was afraid about everything, like if my relationship was strong enough, if I would get used to the new culture, or if I would miss my family. Even though Alan was very supportive, he was 4,916.51 miles from me. I lost count of how many times I cried. Anyhow, I made it. Arriving in the United States, I passed through immigration knowing all I had to do to be there and all the work it was. I knew the next step was my reward, getting married.

After all, our wedding was really simple, but it was an achievement of a dream of mine. It was in Las Vegas, and since I was a little girl, I wanted my wedding to be there. We united his family and a couple of friend in a van and went on a road trip. My parents and grandma flew from Brazil to there. I was so nervous and it wasn’t because of the ceremony, it was because that moment represented my life without my parents. They were so present in all moments of my life that these thoughts made me have a nervous breakdown and also fight with my husband-to-be in the night before the wedding. The wedding was almost over, but my wise Alan took me by the hand and said that he was going to be with me no matter what. The ceremony was simple, but perfect. It was broadcast live on the Internet, so all my family and friends in Brazil could see it. It was fun and different, to sum up, it was Vegas.

For the most part when I look back, I feel that I would do everything again. The process wasn’t easy, but in compensation I learned a lot of patience, worked a lot on my anxiety, and grew up ten years in 16 months. I had to work on my emotions and inner peace, so I could be with my partner. The result of that is in the next month we are completing two years of being crazy together.

Post feito para uma aula de composition (: